


Complicated

by songofhell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9040430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofhell/pseuds/songofhell
Summary: Sam and Castiel are more than a little suspicious that Dean is keeping something from them, but they don't have any right to accuse him when they've been keeping their relationship a secret from him for months. Perhaps it is time for everyone to come clean, and as it turns out, Sam and Castiel aren't the only ones in a secret relationship.This is for my Sastiel Secret Santa. Prompt: Sastiel discovering Drowley is a thing that survived Demon!Dean.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zetal (Rodinia)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/gifts).



The first thing Sam was aware of upon waking was the familiar hand stroking his hair, and that sensation alone made him not want to move. In fact, it was probably the reason he fell asleep in the first place – the comfort of Castiel’s touch held far too much power over him. Then his eyes blinked open to be met with what he had decided was definitely the most beautiful shade of blue in the universe. When he had told this to Cas, the angel had argued that there were so many other shades of blue in the universe, many of which Sam had not seen (and in some cases, would never be able to see). But Sam had adamantly maintained that it didn’t matter, no other color could compare to his eyes. For even though they originally belonged to his vessel, Sam could clearly see Castiel in them – his age, wisdom, sadness, hope, goodness, love, and so many things that defied words. That color was Castiel, and it didn’t matter what other colors were out there.

“Sorry, Cas,” Sam muttered sleepily as he pushed himself out of his lap to sit on the couch beside him. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I never tire of watching you sleep; it is comforting to see the weight of the world removed from your shoulders for even a short amount of time.”

Sam smiled at his boyfriend. “Yeah, I guess I kind of needed that nap. We’re just lucky Dean didn’t come in here when he got home.”

Castiel frowned slightly. “Actually, Dean hasn’t gotten back, yet; I would have heard him.”

Sam sighed. “Is it just me, or has he been spending more time not here recently?”

“Perhaps he knows we are keeping something from him,” Castiel suggested pointedly, not so subtly hinting once again that he believed they should tell Dean that they were dating. And it wasn’t that Sam didn’t want to tell Dean, he was sure that his brother would be happy for them. It was just that everything in their lives was so complicated, but what he had right now with Cas was just _love._ He had figured that dating an angel would be one of the more complicated things in his life, but in actuality, it was so beautifully _simple._ And he just knew that if Dean found out, he’d start asking questions, the entire dynamic of their little team would change, and the one simple thing that Sam had would become complicated. He knew that it had to happen at some point, but he was dreading it.

“If you ask me, he’s been too distracted lately to pick up on that,” Sam swiftly dodged Castiel’s hint. “I’m starting to wonder if maybe _he’s_ seeing someone.”

“If he is, we can hardly judge him for not telling us about it.”

“Yeah, but what if that’s not what it is? What if something really is wrong? He’s not always forthcoming about that kind of stuff.”

“It runs in your family.” He turned to look off in the other direction and Sam sighed. He knew that Castiel wasn’t mad at him, but he certainly wasn’t happy either.

“Cas…”

“I understand your reasoning, I do. But doesn’t keeping secrets from your brother complicate things just as much? Whenever any of us start keeping secrets from the others, it never ends well. And now Dean clearly is keeping something from us, but I am in no position to demand answers, when I am doing the same to him.”

Sam reached up to cup Castiel’s cheek, turning his head to face him. “I’m sorry. Asking you to keep this secret hasn’t been fair to you. We can tell him.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to do it just for my sake.”

“No, you’re right. It just seems uncomplicated right now because I don’t have to deal with the consequences. He deserves to know.”

“Alright. We’ll tell him tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

Some of his nervousness must have showed in his eyes because Castiel smiled softly and leaned in to brush his lips gently against his. “It will be alright, Sam.” He got to his feet, offering out a hand. “Now, we should get you to bed.”

“I just woke up from a nap, Cas,” Sam protested with a soft laugh, even as he took the offered hand. Cas had a tendency to be overly-concerned about his sleeping habits. “I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

“I said nothing about sleep,” the angel stated, his expression unchanging, aside from a mischievous spark in his eyes. “Though, after I’m through with you, I am sure you will no longer have any problems falling asleep.”

*

The next morning, Sam swung by Dean’s room to see that he was soundly asleep, before he met Cas in the kitchen. “What time did he get in?” he asked as he sat down beside him and accepted the offered cup of coffee gratefully.

“Around 4 a.m.”

Sam shook his head slightly as he lowered the mug from his mouth. “Bars are closed long before then. He’s either seeing someone, or he’s in real trouble.”

Castiel nodded in agreement. “Hopefully the former.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice. But when do things ever go the way we want them to?”

Castiel looked at him sympathetically as he wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his back comfortingly. “It will all be okay, Sam. You and Dean are too stubborn to let it be anything else.”

Sam managed a half-hearted chuckle. “Thanks.”

“Did you sleep well?” Cas changed the subject.

They talked for a few more minutes, until Dean came stumbling sleepily into the kitchen. “There’d better be some coffee left,” he muttered.

“I brewed enough for two,” Castiel confirmed.

Dean grunted his thanks as he poured himself a mug and then sat down across from them.

“You look exhausted,” Sam noted.

Dean shrugged. “Got in late last night.” He sighed as he took a long drink of coffee.

“Regretting it?”

He shook his head. “Gotta live while we’re young, Sammy. You should take a leaf out of my book. Go out, get laid. You could use it.”

Sam pressed his lips into a line as he looked at Cas out of the corner of his eyes. He nodded in encouragement. Sam took a deep breath; here went nothing. “Uh, actually… I’m seeing someone.”

Dean blinked in surprise, immediately forgetting his coffee to focus on his brother. “You’re seeing someone?” he repeated with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah.” He glanced at Cas with a small smile, taking the angel’s hand where it laid on the table.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up even higher. “You two…?” He motioned between the two of them.

“Yeah…. And I know I should have told you sooner, but… we’ve been dating for about three months now.”

Dean’s jaw set in anger. _“Three months?”_ he demanded before stopping suddenly, his expression turning a bit sheepish. He took a deep breath. “That’s great! I’m happy for you two. I mean, all I want is for you to be happy, so if you’re happy, I’m happy. And I totally understand the whole keeping it a secret thing.”

Now Sam’s eyebrows were shooting up. He exchanged a look with Castiel, who looked just as surprised. “Dean… you’ve never been okay with me keeping secrets.”

“Yeah, but relationships are different. Sometimes… sometimes it’s best to keep them secret for a while, so that you can enjoy them without complications. The bottom line is that I am happy that you are happy.” He smiled at his brother, reaching across the table to clap him on the shoulder before turning to Cas. “And you’d better take good care of him. Angel or not, I’ll still kick your ass.”

Castiel smiled. “Of course.”

Sam narrowed his eyes slightly. “Dean, is there anything you want to tell us?”

Dean blushed faintly. “Uh… okay, you two may not be the only ones with a secret relationship.”

The corner of Sam’s lips twitched up as he arched an eyebrow. “Care to share?”

Dean hesitated. “You aren’t going to like it.”

Sam laughed. “Dean, you ran off with Crowley once. It can’t get worse than that.”

Dean turned bright red and clenched his jaw, his glare resting on Sam for just a second before he turned away.

“…Dean?” Sam asked after a few seconds of silence.

“You know what? Never mind,” he muttered, snatching his mug from the table and getting up to put it in the sink.

“Is it worse than Crowley?” Castiel asked curiously.

“No…” Sam realized. “It _is_ Crowley.”

Dean froze at the sink with his back to them and didn’t say anything. Sam exchanged a wide-eyed look with Cas, and then they were both on their feet, making their way over to Dean.

“What are you thinking?” Sam demanded softly.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe that I love him?” Dean snapped, rounding on his brother. “Maybe that he gets me on a level that no one else does and loves everything that I’m insecure about. Maybe that he always knows just what I need to feel better about myself, and is _always_ there for me. Maybe that I am actually _happy_ for once in my damn life!”

Sam looked down, taking a deep breath. If it wasn’t for the fact that he _knew_ Dean was talking about Crowley… it sounded exactly like how things were between himself and Castiel. Everything that he would say to defend his relationship with Cas, Dean had just said about him and Crowley. And because of that, Sam wanted to get on board, but… “It’s Crowley.”

“Yeah, and how many times has he come through for us? Dammit, you wouldn’t be standing here right now if it weren’t for him, Sammy! He’s not just some other demon, not even you can claim that. He actually cares. And I don’t care what you have to say about how he’s probably just using me, I know him, and I know that admitting to loving me was not something he did lightly.” He sighed, turning to Castiel. “Tell me that you don’t see something different in him.”

Castiel inclined his head slightly. “He is definitely different from most demons. And…” His gaze flickered to Sam briefly. “I do believe that he does genuinely care for you, in some sense; though, I cannot attest to anything beyond that.”

“Thanks, Cas.” He turned back to his brother. “I know you don’t like him, but can’t you at least be happy for me?”

Sam hesitated for just a second before pulling Dean into a hug. “Of course,” he muttered.

That night, Sam laid in bed with Cas, his head on the angel’s chest. “You’re not worried?”

“I am always worried. About you and Dean, both. But I do not believe Crowley would hurt him. I do not trust him much beyond that, but he has had a soft spot for Dean for some time now. It is not altogether surprising to learn that he loves him.”

“I guess you’re right…. To learn that Dean loves him back, though…”

“That is more of a shock.”

“I knew that they were still a bit too close for comfort, but I never saw this coming.”

Castiel pressed his lips to the top of Sam’s head. “If I believed that Dean was in danger, I would be doing something to stop it.”

“I know you would.” He sighed. “This is just something that we’re going to have to get used to.”

“At least Dean took us being together well.”

“Yeah.”

They laid in silence for a few seconds before Castiel spoke up again. “What aren’t you saying, Sam?”

Sam sighed. He loved how well Cas could read him, but it also meant that he could never hide anything. But maybe that was a good thing. “It’s stupid. It’s just… everything Dean said earlier about why he’s with Crowley… it sounded just like a list of some of the best things about our relationship.”

“And that troubles you?” He could hear the frown in Castiel’s voice, even if he couldn’t see it.

Sam could feel his cheeks growing pink, knowing that what he was about to say sounded ridiculous. “Do you believe in soul mates?”

“Not by the definition. But the general idea that there are two beings out there meant for each other?” He brushed a strand of hair off Sam’s cheek. “Well, it’s hard not to believe when I’ve found you.”

Sam lifted his head up in order to properly smile at Cas. “I feel the same way,” he said as he laid his head down on the pillow, not quite looking at Cas as he continued speaking. “But when Dean started saying the way things are with him and Crowley and they sounded like the way things are with us, I just had the thought that Dean’s soul mate couldn’t possibly be a demon, but then I realized that it was just as likely, probably even more likely, than my soul mate being an angel…” He swallowed thickly as he finished, his eyes locked on the spot on the covers that he was nervously picking at.

Castiel breathed out a soft breath as he reached forward to cup Sam’s cheek, turning his head to face him. “Sam Winchester,” he said firmly, “you are the purest, most noble man in the universe and no one is more worthy of love than you, angelic or otherwise. I will repeat this as many times as I have to to get it through your head, and I don’t care how long it takes. I love you, and I resent the limitations of the English language.” The next words he spoke Sam recognized to be Enochian. “That roughly translates to ‘I shall cherish you for all my days because my heart’s desire is for you alone.’ I am not certain if soul mates exist, and if they do, I do not have the faintest idea if Dean and Crowley are meant for each other. But what I do know, one way or the other, is that I am meant to be with you. There is no other option for me.”

Sam just stared into that most beautiful shade of blue at a complete loss for words. He would never understand why Castiel would want to be with him, but all that mattered was the love that he could almost tangibly feel radiating from the angel in front of him. He didn’t know where his life would be going from here, what implications his brother’s love life would have on them, what new supernatural threats they would encounter, but what he did know was that Cas would always be there for him.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips fervently against Castiel’s, trying desperately to communicate everything that he couldn’t find the words to say. Things may have gotten more complicated, but Cas was right, it would all be okay.


End file.
